Falling apart, once again

My lowest point seems to be getting lower every day. I am exhausted and so ready for this process to be over with. Isn't the pain supposed to subside with time? I guess it kind of has; I think I was just more numb before. Now the numbness is wearing off and I'm feeling everything, like a fistful of raw nerve. On lunch today I plan to sleep in my car for the entire hour and maybe feel a little more hopeful in the afternoon. I'm pretty sure death is not supposed to be a daydream...