Friday, February 20, 2009
What helps
Someone asked me today, after hearing about everything that happened with Noah, what helps me now. I thought it was such a kind question; I'm sure I've been asked before, but I guess it came at just the right moment this time. What I told him was that looking ahead at my goals helps; making new friends who aren't connected to Noah helps...and in the car on the way back to work I realized: small words of confirmation throughout the day helps. From people I don't know well or who I haven't seen in years. From strangers, from friends, from my family...I'm surviving on words of encouragement right now. Knowing that his sister, who is beautiful and smart and accomplished and has everything to give, was rejected and abandoned like me. To remember that it was not me/the person I am or the kind of wife I was who caused the disintegration of my marriage. That it was lust of some sort (I'm not even sure what it was for) that consumed him and led to the decisions he made. It was a conscious decision to abandon what is right. Now if I can only hold on to the truth...
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