D-Day

He's reached a new level of low today. I cannot wait to have him out of my life forever and be free to find out what's ahead. I realized I don't know what a good marriage looks like because my experience gets worse every day. I might just let go of my desire to have the type of family I always thought I would have; it's time to rethink my perception of family. Don't be alarmed, I'm still the same Sarah somewhere in there...at least part of me is the same. But it's so hard to imagine trusting a man again. I'm convinced he has lost what good was there at one point; he is here for himself alone and anyone in his life at this point is there because he sees something in them that he can use to his own advantage. He doesn't know what love is, and for that reason Lindsey or anyone after her will only be used up in the end. Is it horrible to confess I wish either he or I would have died before all of this came out? Then I would have only had "good" memories.